The familiar misery

Sometimes, even though it's been a while, I still cannot believe on the permanence of your absence in my life. How can someone just not be there anymore? I hate it. And sometimes I want to be selfish and grab the person that holds your face but what stops me was the thought that nothing would ever change now. I've tried so hard for so long and it's just not there anymore. I just hate how it still fucks me up sometimes. I hate the memories we made and the footprints we left in this town. How can I go around without thinking about all those times? How can you? I'll sleep this ache. I hope I will eventually get tired of reopening this wound because the outcome would never change and it would always just hurt.

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