An Ordinary Day
Today's December 5, 2019, Thursday, and I started writing this at10:25PM. I got home two hours ago. Ate dinner and watched some episodes of FRIENDS to relax. Today's been a stressful one-- actually, most of my days these past few weeks have been stressful. Days from now will mark my 3rd month as a working girl. I know it is evident, but it has not been easy for me to deal with people at work.
Today, I almost tried to quit.
I am writing this because I know I will someday forget what happened today. Earlier, I got scorned at the phone for meddling with "our" account, when I am just asking for updates. I got scolded for doing what was asked of me, not knowing it was not enough because the instructions weren't clear. My boss got disappointed in me for a lot of shortcomings that I did not know the project needs. I feel like everyone at work hates me and talks about me behind my back. I start to overthink that maybe they all think I'm stupid, up to no good, and maybe it's better if I should just leave.
Usually, when I start having thoughts like these, my response was the insatiable desire to leave. Flight response. Because maybe, everything would have been easier without me.
These days, these happenings, these struggles, are what I want to remember once I get there. Once I become the woman I've always wanted to be. The woman I am meant to be. Because then I would remember how hard it is to get there. How intricate the learnings were. I would look back and be glad that I did not quit because it if wasn't for the hard days, a brave woman would not be birthed.
Today, I almost tried to quit.
I am writing this because I know I will someday forget what happened today. Earlier, I got scorned at the phone for meddling with "our" account, when I am just asking for updates. I got scolded for doing what was asked of me, not knowing it was not enough because the instructions weren't clear. My boss got disappointed in me for a lot of shortcomings that I did not know the project needs. I feel like everyone at work hates me and talks about me behind my back. I start to overthink that maybe they all think I'm stupid, up to no good, and maybe it's better if I should just leave.
Usually, when I start having thoughts like these, my response was the insatiable desire to leave. Flight response. Because maybe, everything would have been easier without me.
These days, these happenings, these struggles, are what I want to remember once I get there. Once I become the woman I've always wanted to be. The woman I am meant to be. Because then I would remember how hard it is to get there. How intricate the learnings were. I would look back and be glad that I did not quit because it if wasn't for the hard days, a brave woman would not be birthed.
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