Shayari Blues

I miss you, emo boy. I’m scared to admit it at first when you left but I’ve already gotten so used of you. I thought I could keep you for long. You were too good to me. I wish I had the chance to say that to you before you decided to leave me too. And it’s okay, I don’t blame you. I guess I became a burden too. But there are a lot of things I did not get a chance to say to you. First, thank you for being nothing but kind to me. Thank you for making me feel that I have someone at my side for weeks. Second, I really love your favorite song. For many nights, it comforted me and made me feel like I wasn’t alone. Third, we have so much in common. And I love it that I found someone who mirrors me. Fourth, I’m sorry that I did not get to assure you how I would always be here. How I would also be willing to listen to your sad stories and stupid jokes. How I would always laugh at them even though I try to conceal it. I told you, mababaw akong tao. Fifth, I find you cute really. You’re a ...

Was feeling a little bummed because it has been a month since I graduated and I still feel lost. I attended only one job interview so far and I got the job, but felt the need to reject it because I felt like it was not for me. I don't understand myself either. But I felt like I made the right decision because ten days after grad, I wasn't still at my best self because of all the storms that had come my way. Thankfully now, all has been well.  I bumped into this photo while I was browsing through our college photos. Taken by one of my best friends when we had our studio tour at ABS-CBN. The hopeful and full of dreams Lanie. I still miss her sometimes. Funny how this was taken a year before I actually became an intern at ABS-CBN News and Current Affairs. I thought that dreaming of having an internship there was a wistful dream, but it did happen. One of the hardest but worthwhile experiences of my life so far.  I'd like to remind myself that life is no...

Hinahanap ka ng dagat. Nagtatanong ang mga alon. Nagtataka ang mga buhangin. “Nasan na ang isang pares ng mga bakas?” bulong nila. Pero lumayag ka na.  At nangakong di na ulit babalik pa. Ang kahapon ay para lang sa kahapon.  Nalungkot ang dagat.  Tumaas at naging masungit ang mga alon,  Tila nais kang ibalik.  Pero malayo ka na, At malaya ka na.  Pinagmasdan ko ang dagat.  Pinagmasdan ko bawat halik ng alon sa dalampasigan, Dala ang bawat bakas.  Pag akap sa kung anong meron ang dalampasigan, Ay patuloy na aangkinin nang karagatan.  Sapagkat ganon ang pagmamahal. Niyayakap ang ganda, Hinahagkan ang pait, Inaangkin din ang sakit.  Patuloy man na magbago ang mga bakas sa dalampasigan, Ay hindi titigil ang dagat sa paghalik rito.  Hindi ba’t ganon ang pagmamahal? Nagbabago pero walang nagbabago.  Ngunit ang bawat hangganan Dulot ng bawat paglisan, Ay may hatid na bagong simula.  Sinuyod ko ang dagat.  Kasama kong lu...

I could not look back in college and not remember my first love. I met Andrei when I transferred school. He's also taking up Communication and is a blockmate of mine. He said that he instantly had a crush on me when he first met me. I didn't feel it. But for him, it was love at first sight. I could only smile whenever I would remember how he used to be shy whenever he's around me. We did not talk until he got the courage to text me during sophomore year, and the rest was history. I fell in love with a good man. A softhearted one. It was not hard to love you, Andrei. And our days spent together have been the best that I've got yet. I know that you are on your way to your dream now, and I am also working on mine. We may have gone separate ways now, but part of me will always be in love with you. It sucks how we could not talk anymore, how both of us outgrown each other and become strangers through time. But our 19-year-old selves would never know that, what they ...

A lot has happened, and wow, what a crazy roller coaster ride life is. I created this blog, way back in 2015, when I was still a freshman college student. The original plan was to document my life and journey as a college student. And as you browse here, you can see that it did not happen. I became shy when my friends started reading the things I've posted in here. Shy and conscious. And obviously, that stopped me from posting my thoughts here. As I've said, a lot has happened and some dreams changed. I look back and read my past thoughts and realized how naive and wistful I was about life. But the crazy part about life is that no matter how good or shitty a moment is, it does not stop there; it goes on. And so I plan on bringing this one to life once more. I'll be brave and post my raw thoughts. Life's already crazy so it would be nice to have a little corner of my own. So hello again to me.