I need to chill
I've quit. And I used to think and feel like it's the best thing I can do for myself. And I still think it is, but the people around me thinks otherwise. It sucks when you gave up with the thing that they are most proud about you and you can feel they are starting to love you less. It sucks to be a people pleaser all my life. I am starting to change it but the feeling stays and eats me up inside. I feel like a failure. To their eyes I may be am, but I know I am not. There just are days when it's hard to shrug the thought away. I need to chill. To STOP thinking about how I am gonna fail and that they are right that quitting was a wrong decision. I need to give myself some time to breathe and relax. To not think of anything but to focus on just breathing, just getting by. I may not have everything figured out by now, but I know what doesn't feel right and what doesn't speak to my soul. I will feel alive again soon.